Visiting the grandparents...

The trip...
It took me 45 minutes to go the first 10 miles out of Chicago.
About an hour and half outside of Chicago, I realized that I had forgotten my hang up clothes to wear to Josh's graduation on Sat.
I made the 8 hour drive in 7 hours 15 min. My uncle informed me that my car had better have wings and a jet engine in it when I pulled in the driveway to make it that amount of time. I just giggled.
My grandpa is great, but unfortunately losing his mind. Instead of getting sad about this, we enjoy the funny things that happen by mistake.
Thursday night my grandpa and I went out to dinner and he just told the waitress that he wanted whatever I was having...even a diet pepsi...he doesn't drink pop...ever. He drank it.
I noticed that he had a cut on his hand and I asked him what happened and he informed me he reopened a scab in the machine shed the other day when he was looking for shotgun shells and it "bled like a stuck hog." Whatever that means...
He re-enacted the racoon in the yard story, which included a 35 pound raccoon that was 25 feet up in a tree when my uncle shot it down and it jumped up 3 feet TWICE after it fell the 2 feet. And it's claws were the size of his pinky finger. Then he informed me that racoon could have taken his leg off in one swipe. It could have also taken a 600 pound steer.
My grandpa doesn't say "You're kidding me." He says "You're shitting me." Which I just find to be hilarious.
We drove past someone's farm and he informed me that the guy that lives there is a jerk and I asked him why. He informed me that "he was born a jerk, don't you know." Guess I didn't.
When I told him I would have to leave early Sat am for Josh's grad, because it would take me 4.5 hours to get there and I would have to get up at 7am, he responded "You don't get up at 7am. I hope you don't have to be there for that fucking thing for him to graduate, because you aren't going to make it. They won't hold up that thing until you get there, will they? You can tell him congratulations at about 7:30pm when you get there. You won't leave here until at least 1pm. You'll stay here and have dinner with me." Ohh, how cute and funny is he?
On Friday, my grandpa slept all morning as he always does and my uncle was in town, so I went for a nice long walk around the farm. After dinner, grandpa and I went up to Storm Lake to see my grandma in the hospital where we took her for a wheelchair ride through every hallway in the hospital. When we returned to the farm, Uncle Greg was doing work and 4-wheeling around the yard. I was helping my uncle doing some random work when I made a sarcastic remark to him and he used one of my favorite sayings that he says. Instead of saying "Kiss my ass," he says "Bite my butt". It just kills me everytime. It was a long drive for a short visit, but definitely worth it.