Everyone has a time when they need to rant or rave. I was recently talking to a friend on the phone when she was telling me of some boy troubles and I recommended that she write it out. Well, this person didn't want their name to be attached so I said, why not be a guest columnist on my blog. A few days later, I received an e-mail with this attachment. Enjoy.
We’ve all been there… you wade through the creeps and the clowns and meet someone you really connect with – the conversation is flowing, you’re both laughing, smiling, and talking a mile a minute trying to get in every hilarious story that comes to mind. The physical chemistry is there too: you’re leaning in, legs are crossed towards each other, maybe you kiss, maybe more? Regardless, your faith has been reaffirmed that there are "good ones" still out there and maybe you won’t be single forever.
You talked all night long… about your families, your histories, your disappointments and your greatest victories. You shared your hopes for the future and even your most embarrassing moments. It felt right; it felt good. He told you how beautiful you are, how he can’t believe you would even talk to him. How soft your skin is. How you’re the type of girl a guy could settle down with. How he can’t wait to see you again. When you part – whenever that may be – your walls are slowly crumbling down and you’re strangely optimistic. You think to yourself, "maybe something will actually happen with this guy? We had so much in common. He took my number and said he was going to call, of course he will."
The days go by with no contact and you get to a point when you realize, I’VE BEEN FED A LINE. And it sucks.
Now let me point out that it is completely acceptable to just go out and have a good time, talk to new people, laugh and joke around, even make-out with them and have no expectations for future contact. Those make for some of the most fun nights sometimes.
But let me set the record straight: don’t tell me how beautiful I am, don’t take my number and say you are going to call, don’t tell me you can’t wait to see me again, and do not tell me I’m the type of girl a guy could settle down with if you have absolutely no intention of calling me. What’s the point?!? I’m not a delicate little flower that needs to be coddled – you can be upfront and direct about what is or is not going to happen. I like honesty and straightforwardness. I don’t like my time, thoughts, or energy wasted waiting for you to call (because you said you would). I appreciate the truth I don’t need my ego uselessly stroked. We all have needs to be met and you don’t need to feed me a line in order for yours to be met.
So what’s the point of this rant? Don’t waste my time – it’s too valuable to me. I understand that if you really do like me you absolutely would call – just don’t say you will call when you know you won’t. Put your cards on the table – if you’re just looking to hang out for the night, laugh and have a good time, that is totally cool – just put that out there. There’s no need to butter me up with the lines. Almost every other woman I have talked to feel the same way about this kind of situation, don’t say you’ll call when you have no intentions of keeping your word. It sucks.